Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
