I feel like I'm in dance class right now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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