I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
