if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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