he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
