I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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