A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
