I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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