just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
