he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
