I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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