I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
