no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
