i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
