Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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