I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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