and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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