Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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