i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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