ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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