So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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