i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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