There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
