btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
