wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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