Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
