try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
