ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
