hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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