He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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