It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
