I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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