why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We have started to decorate penises.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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