I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
