I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
ttyl tear gas
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
