Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize