C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
