You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize