Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We got so high we made milksteak
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
