i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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