there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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