I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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