I faked an abortion last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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