Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
