Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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