i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
