I am puke
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize