Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just pee around me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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