I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
