I wish i was in the wii world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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