Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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