i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
