I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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