ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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