she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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