Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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