Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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