is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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