I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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