I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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