Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
