Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
