i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
