It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
