my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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