That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
