Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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